Bob's 5.6 Month Manny Challenge

June 5, 2016 - November 22, 2016

 

And who wouldn't be inspired to do great things by this man?

There is an old interview of Steve in a climbing video and he was asked about his goals in climbing. His response is one of my favorite Manny-isms, something along the lines of: “I think if you become too goal-oriented then things stop being fun. And if it’s not fun then what’s the point?”

Attempting to complete this challenge was a serious goal and there was a time around mid-September that it definitely stopped being fun. But the point of the whole deal wasn’t to have fun really. It was to do something difficult in Steve’s memory, get back into the kind of shape I hadn’t been in years and provide a little bit of focus and direction. Without question, this challenge provided me all 3 of those items.

I didn’t do everything, not even close, but I never really thought I could anyways. I’ve got a full-time job, an additional part-time job, a girl and a dog, both of whom I do everything that I can to keep happy. But as Hans told me when I showed him the original list, “The list is impossible, therefore it must be attempted.”

When I started this back in June I weighed 160lbs and was in pretty poor shape, likely the worst in years. That said, literally no one on the planet would’ve looked at me and said, “That guy could stand to lose 15-20 pounds”. I didn’t take a ‘before’ photograph of myself because it never occurred to me, but I looked in the mirror one day in November and said, “My god dude, you are 45 fricking years old and you are never going to look like this again.” So I did something I never thought I’d do: at a bodyweight of 142 lbs, I took a shirtless mirror selfie, just like Manny’s Beachbody minions used to do (that I relentlessly made fun of).

So here it is, my Beachbody Bro Shot, laugh away Manny.

Now that it’s over, I’m looking forward to not having every moment of my life scheduled. I’m also looking forward to sleeping, something that I missed out on a lot of.

Since I don't expect anyone to read this whole thing through, I'd like to get get my acknowledgements out of the way right off the bat. A lot of people were instrumental in helping me get things done, so thanks to all my friends, you know who you are. If I may be allowed to quote my own words, "Everyone has friends, mine are better." That rang true when I wrote the words 15 years ago and hasn't changed since. For the Challenge, I didn't have a problem staying motivated, I'm pretty good at self-motivation, but certain things required the help of others to get through and I'd like to single out a special thanks to Micah Elconin who was always available when I needed assistance and did his own version of the 5.6 months which he will hopefully write about. Thanks Micah!

I'd also like to thank Manny for dying on me and thereby tumbling me into my worst fitness level of the last decade and then subsequently motivating me to get into the highest fitness level I've been in for the last decade, all within a few short months. Ok, so now that the obvious crass joke out of the way: I obviously spent a great deal of time thinking about him, cursing him and talking to him in my head throughout the last 5.6 months. There is no way I could possibly recount the number of times that I wanted to call him up and tell him about whatever it was I was doing and how much it sucked, how much it hurt or how much goddamn fun it was. But if there's one thing I've learned through this experience this year it's that life isn't fair and shit doesn't always end up the way you think it will. I always thought we'd be old men together...I was wrong. The fact remains though, that up until I take my own dirt nap, he will always be in my head, "C'mon!!!"

~Bob  11/23/16

People Suck: Volume 2013

Was up at The Lizard's  Mouth yesterday for a nice session before it started raining again. Banged out the old "easy circuit", which is one of the more pleasant climbing experiences in town I think (although I'm embarrassed to admit that a couple problems on my 'easy' circuit, I could not manage to do). Really reminds me of a Font circuit. Anyways, I was distraught to find that some cocksmoker had done some graffiti removal on a couple boulders. This rendition of 'removal' involved literally chiseling the graffiti off of the boulder. I noticed two instances, first at Brigid O'Shaunessey and also at Double Indemnity (shown below).

Whether this was another gangbang shithead erasing an enemy tag or a well-intentioned nature dude being a complete fucking idiot, I guess we may never know, but it makes me sick nonetheless. People suck.

The Swimming Hole - Tar Creek Tribute Video

Sitting around on a rainy late December weekend inevitably brings back memories of what happened at one of the finest bouldering areas on Earth almost 8 years ago now. The Swimming Hole sported 300+ problems in an unbelievable concentration of perfect stone, superb boulders and an idyllic setting. It was nothing short of a dreamland and if I may paraphrase a quote from my own book, I wrote something like "You could not climb, not get drunk, not get laid and still have the best day of your life out there, it's that good." (also interesting is my priority list of what my best day was considered).

Tar Creek, January 5, 2005. Very high, very muddy water. photo: colm fitzgerald

In late December 2004 a series of storms began to hit the Central Coast in rapid succession with massive amounts of rain and widespread damage. The worst of the storm hit on January 10th, 2005 with pounding monsoon-style rainfall. Official data recorded just shy of 15 inches of rain in Ventura over a 15 day period culminating in the storm of January 10th. This massive rainfall increased creek flows substantially, and Tar Creek, home to The Swimming Hole boulders was flowing like mad. To complicate matters, there had been a forest fire that swept through Tar Creek a little over a year prior, decimating vegetation on the steep hillsides above The Swimming Hole. The lack of significant root systems essentially holding the hillside together as it should resulted in incredible amount of mud flowing into Tar Creek turning it into a very massive, heavy and therefore powerful flow.

In mid-January, 2005 I left for a surf trip to Costa Rica. Three weeks later I returned to the U.S.A. and walked off of a jet at LAX and turned on my telephone. After being gone 3 weeks I had exactly one voice-mail (shows you how popular I am). I'll never forget the message. It was Jeff Johnson and he said, "Bob, The Swimming Hole as we know it no longer exists. It's gone dude, everything's gone. All of it. I was walking around in a daze, I still can't believe it."

Jeff Johnson on XXX with me and Aaron Sandlow spotting and SB strongman Robby Robinson watching in the foreground. A crux hairy mantel awaits at the top and there's only one pad down there kids, cause that's how the Swimming Hole Crew rolls. Every piece of stone that you see in this photo doesn't exist anymore. Pretty sure the late Mike Reardon took this photo probably winter/spring 2002/2003.

On January 10th the storms had peaked in a big way and in doing so swept away virtually every single boulder in the creek. Big ones, small ones, large chunks of the sculpted sandstone canyon walls. All gone. One of the coolest and hardest "water problems", Johnson's brilliant "Aquaman" had been entirely calved off. Boulders bigger than my house were simply not there anymore. One of the only boulders that survived the deluge, the Wave Boulder, had been flipped upside down, turned around and swept downstream where it remains to this day (and home to a few nice problems I might add). The Swimming Hole as it was, was no more.

Our crew went in as a group in March and had a sort of "eulogy" for the place we all spent so much time in and had so much fun. I still agree with what I said in Ocean's 11, you don't have to climb, get drunk or get laid...it's a magical place no matter what. But to be honest, since it was swept away I have returned a total of twice. In eight years. It's too weird to see it the way it is now and the rest of the old crew is no different than myself.

To finalize: This post is relevant 8 years later for another reason. Rumor has it that the Tar Creek access is being slated for closure because of overuse and vandalism. This is sad. Back when we were going there all the time there was no trash. People came in, partied, camped, left their shit and we'd take it out. Trash was never there for more than a week. EVERY ONE of our crew carried a trash bag. When a few complete shithead fuckwad cocksmokers tagged a few boulders in the late 90s, Johnson bought supplies and went out and cleaned it off himself. He even contacted Fillmore police to see if they recognized the tags. We fucking loved that place so much and I feel bad that we haven't been there to watch over her in the last 8 years.

But the stewards have to be the current users. Climbers don't frequent The Swimming Hole like in the old days, but they do frequent other areas and something can be learned. Carry a trash bag everywhere you climb. That fingertape in the dirt, pick it up. The cigarette butt your buddy just flicked into the dirt or the bottle cap he popped off into the bushes, make the sorry fucker look for it and put it in his pocket. Take care of these places. Period.

I made this video back in 2005 and compiled all the footage I had of as many boulder problems as I had recorded and made this for The Swimming Hole Crew. I didn't tote a video camera down there much and when I did it was usually on solo missions which explains why there's so much footage of me. I never had a problem putting a camera on a tripod and shooting myself, but rarely was able to stick a camera in someone else's face. Talk about narcissism! But I'm glad I did what I did because there's something of a historical log now. In homage to Jeff and Paul and and the rest of the crew, no ratings are given in the video. Some problems are very easy, some are very, very hard. They were all great, every one.

Every single problem shown in this video no longer exists.

Post-script: The ultimate irony of The Swimming Hole comes from the closing pages of Ocean's 11 when I quoted Jeff Johnson who said, "These boulders are like tombstones, they'll be here long after we're gone." He actually said that and we actually believed it. But in reality, we are the tombstones.

More on The Swimming Hole:
http://www.king-dino.com/sh/sh.html
http://www.climbing.com/news/storms-destroy-bouldering-paradise/

One from the VHS Vault

I get several hundred requests a day for more quality content, so who am I to deny my beloved readers. Here's the epitome of VCR to VCR tape editing, a mini-climbing video I made back in 1998 during the last days of The Castle. Now digitized and available to my legions of King-Dino fans in blistering High Definition and Hi-Fi audio, here it is: Santa Maria 1997-1998.

What's In A Name?

A recent question over on Mountain Project about the name of a local boulder problem got me to thinking about the the meaning/history of some others names around the area. Here's some off the top of my head that may have had people wondering, "Where the hell did that come from?"

Paul Dusatko at the business of She Made Me Do It.

The one that started the discussion was Rick Fredland's awesome traverse, She Made Me Do It at Skofield Park and also the sister problems, She Had Nothing To Do With It and She Didn't Want Me To Do It, both at Lizard's Mouth. The 'she' at issue was Rick's girlfriend at the time. He'd been working The Skofield traverse for a while without success and one day after some drama with the lady, went out there frustrated and promptly sent. The Lizard's Mouth problems were casual plays on the naming of the first one (and he didn't even name the last one). No sordid story here, he eventually married her and they continue to live happily ever.

Thomi Adank on the first ascent of The Dancing Outlaw.

The Dancing Outlaw at The Brickyard got put up in the late 90s when we were watching the Indie documentary about West Virginia's Jesco White, called, you guessed it, The Dancing Outlaw. If you've never seen this movie, stop what you're doing and find it on the internet somewhere. There's lots of snippets on Youtube as well. We were so fascinated with this flick that we had it playing near daily for a while at the house. Also, this is one of those problems that had a name before an ascent, I started calling it The Dancing Outlaw pretty much right off the bat, it just fit. And since my good friend Thomi had scooped the prize of the boulder while I was on the disabled list, I had to settle for putting up the right side version of The Dancing Outlaw, which I named after a line that Jesco says during one of his stories in the movie, Double Super Buzz. I'd try to explain it, but it's much easier to see/hear, so skip to 1:38: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6FffzU7F6Lc/.

Also, The Dancing Outlaw boulder was originally called the Bluegrass Boulder, primarily because I was climbing with Jonathan Kingston a lot back then and he liked bluegrass music. Dancing Outlaw was too classic a problem though and it just took over the name of the boulder since that's how things work. Anyways, that's why all the old problems (that don't involve Jesco) are names of, or lines from, bluegrass songs: Old and In the Way, I Ain't Broke But I'm Badly Bent, Lonesome Pine, etc. The mega-classic and wonderfully named Smooth Criminal (after the Michael Jackson song) went up a bit after all these, courtesy of the dynamic duo of Neil Crancer and Dave Hunt. I was psyched they kept a sort-of theme going with the Outlaw/Criminal element. Genius name for a genius boulder problem.

See Ya at The Yard, Meat. kingston images

Unknown attempting Grotesque Old Woman, Friday 12/7/12.

See Ya at The Yard, Meat is a line from the only Kevin Costner movie ever made that was worth watching, Bull Durham, except nobody seems to call it that but me (generally referred to as The Font Problem). Science is A Cruel Mistress is a line from the opening scene of the old Castle favorite The Big Blue. No significance here, I just thought it's a funny line. When I first started working All Mod Cons I realized it had a little bit of everything: cave, slab, kneebar, toehook, heelhook, campus move, crimps, a pinch, slopers, even a mono. All Mod Cons is a British slang term for "All Modern Conveniences". It also happens to be the title of one of my favorite albums by British punk/mod band The Jam when I was a kid. Grotesque Old Woman and Mister Witty are just Leube-isms and Austrian traveler Chris "The Normal Guy" Leube has left his mark on numerous bouldering areas around the globe with identically named problems so you can always tell he was there. Bishop boulderers will likely recognize both names from problems at The Happies. Chris also lent his name to one of my all-time favorite problem names, Leubering With Intent, a crimpy V8 at The Sad Boulders that he projected for a bit too long before Wills Young swooped in to nab the FA and coined it with its brilliant moniker. Wills has always had a pretty good knack for naming stuff.

Dr. Kristin Collins attempting King Dinosaur. kingston images

Over at the Lizard's Mouth, stacks of problems went up during what was called Martini Summer of 1996, and the brunt of them were coined after film noir references. The High Hat is a line from the Coen brothers' finest film, Miller's Crossing. Phyllis Diedrickson, the femme fatale in Double Indemnity and Kathy Moffat the femme fatale from Out of The Past. King Dinosaur was a favorite Mystery Science Theater 3000 movie while We Brought the Atom Bomb, I Think Now Would be A Good Time to Use It is a line from King Dinosaur. The Dena problems: Dena in the Hole, Dena Goes to Gulf City, Steady Diet of Dena, Vamp, Ketel One and Gordon's all derived from a certain dark haired seductress who tended bar and poured martinis for the boys at The Blue Agave. Serious as a Deacon (if I recall correctly) is a line from Sweet Smell of Success, but was also one of many lines poached from various films in the brilliant homage to film noir that Steve Edwards and Todd Mei made in 1998, Icarus Descending. The best problem busting out of the Meilee Cave: Faded, Fat, Greedy Women is a line from Shadow of a Doubt.

I could write pages about names of the problems at our dearly missed Swimming Hole. Jeff Johnson has always taken pride in giving proper names to proper ascents and couple that with the perennial jokester Paul Anderson and you had an area stacked with great names. Entry Fee was the most obvious line on the first major freestanding boulder that marked the beginning of the Swimming Hole bouldering (AJP was 1/4 mile closer upstream but not really 'the beginning' of the real concentration of boulders). It was said that everyone must pay their Entry Fee, and it wasn't cheap, a delicate bit of 5.11 climbing on absolutely perfect stone. The Wave was a perfectly smooth boulder with minimal features and a mini-dihedral leading up a curling face, Microwave was a miniature version around the corner of the big boy.

The Heckler. Johnson spotting, Reardon shooting video.

The Texas Flake Boulder, aptly named for the enormous detached flake shaped almost exactly like the left edge of Texas, had the ultra-thin Paul Anderson testpiece, The Heckler, named after the prodigious amounts of shit-talking that frequented Swimming Hole sessions (Paul was and is the master). On the corner was the devious Troublemaker and the sister problem Makin' Trouble, both are regarding Wills and if I remember correctly, Troublemaker was Johnson directed at Wills, and Makin' Trouble was Wills firing back at Johnson. Genius.

Thomi trying to slam dunk Magic Johnson.

One of the greatest problems that ever existed on the planet, Jeff Johnson's Magic Johnson, was so perfectly named because it was such a classic double entendre. Firstly, the move up to the sloper was a massive palm open slap as if you were slam-dunking a basketball and secondly, success seemed so implausible that it was like a magic trick when it worked. The 'magic' theme carried on to the other problems on the boulder, Smoke and Mirrors, which was less magic, and just brutally hard, and the easiest of the tri-fecta, Hocus Pocus. Also in the area that we lovingly referred to as The Pit of Power, was Meateater, a very high and very committing arete that Jeff named after vying for the first ascent with Wills Young. The story was that Wills was eating nuts and berries (or something like that) while out bouldering and Jeff thought it was kind of funny. Jeff and Wills weren't exactly seeing 'eye-to-eye' at the time, shall we say. (It should be noted that Wills was not and as far as I know still isn't a vegetarian). Starting around the corner from The Pit sits The Handicapper, named so for obvious reasons. As far as I know the veracity of the name was never tested, you either didn't get very far off the ground or you sent. Left of The Handicapper started The Mad Cow Traverse, which along the same time as some tension between Jeff and Wills, Jeff got first and coined it as a dig on the British-raised Young (Mad Cow disease in England was big news back then).

.........I could go on about the Swimming Hole, but damn it gets depressing to think that everything I mentioned here is gone. And hell, with two blog posts in two weeks I don't want to get carried away.

Revisiting Psyche

 
Since I haven't posted anything in over a year and since it's been pouring down rain for a few days, here we go.

Today I picked up my old copy of Edwards' Santa Barbara Bouldering (1997) and thumbed through it for the first time in over a decade. Marked on the inside cover with my name and The Castle phone number should I lose it, it's quite a walk down memory lane. The book is bound together with a rubber band, torn up and marked up with scribbled field notes and comments on nearly every page. At my current state of climbing psyche, it's hard to believe how psyched I once was, spending every rest day walking through the hills looking for more stuff.

One of the more interesting pages is one of the maps to The Brickyard (map 2) which covers the area from The Ant Boulder, called The Cryptozoology Area, to over past The Soot Patrol Boulder, called The Backyard. There's lots of good stuff in these scribblings, most importantly what would become most of the problems on The Dancing Outlaw boulder, noted on the next page as "overhanging boulder with 2 or 3 very nice hard problems...needs some good cleaning and a tree trim."

 

Starting at the upper left of the map, in my notes "Behind the cave boulder" would mean behind The Soot Patrol Boulder. To get one oriented, problems 108 and 109 are Watch the Dog and Soot Patrol, and in my notes, problem c) "2 or 3 hard cave problems" became Dancing Outlaw, etc., d)  Smooth Criminal, and noted as "nice problem" a) Old & In the Way, a problem I still think is a great moderate. Moving over to The Soot Patrol boulder, problems 110 and 111 are Mister Witty and Clean the Grill respectively, between them I noted "ss cave to crimps", which became All Mod Cons. The face around the corner between 111 and 112 (Draw or Call) I wrote in "slab", which became Science is a Cruel Mistress. Speaking of Draw or Call, next to its entry a couple pages later I wrote down "Fucking hairy! R or X rating for sure". I've done Draw or Call exactly twice and broke holds off of it both times. It's high and it's choss. One of the times I snapped a hold off and hit the ground tumbling back to the boulder behind just barely missing conking the shit out of my head, barely grazing it on the rock. I remember Ratso running over to me and licking my face to make sure I was ok. The problem may have cleaned up by now, but I'll certainly never do it again.

Other interesting notes in The Brickyard section are Grotesque Old Woman (problem 89 on the map), which Steve gave 1 star, I emphatically wrote "FANTASTIC!! ***" followed by "sit-start maybe V8/V9?". The sit-start turned in at a much harder V10 although I remember Wills dispatching of it very shortly after we showed it to him.

Also, many people don't know that Mister Witty was once a 3 star V5 in its original rendition. There were originally two large plates at the lip of the overhang making everything significantly easier to get on the slab, not to mention there used to be a big knob to grab once you got your feet up. Well, first the left plate broke (it was still V5 but a bit harder) and then the right hand plate broke, leaving you with those measley crimps that exist to this day to negotiate your way over the lip. My first note is "hasn't gone since another hold broke". The guy who broke the second lip hold wanted to glue it back on but I expressed my distaste for that idea and we kept trying it. My second note (too bad I didn't put dates on things) reads "V7 now, very nice!". The top knob broke a couple years later, but didn't affect the grade enough to change it. It's a great problem still, but I remember the original V5 Mister Witty with all holds intact being better.

As a final note on Steve's fabulous original SB bouldering guide, I have two copies on my bookshelf. The copy pictured above is one of the first that came out of the box when Steve received them from the printer, and the copy shown to the right is most definitely the last one sold on the retail market. I walked into Mountain Air one day, which was the last place that still had copies to sell (I was doing the distribution for Steve at the the time), and they had a single copy left. So I bought it.

Santa Barbara Climbing History in Print: V

Note: Recently I've spent some time compiling and scanning as much printed medium that I could find that covers climbing in the Santa Barbara area. Originally intended to be one post, I've broken it up into what will be several, with some [I think] cool stuff that appeared in books, magazines, and newspaper articles over the years.

Part V: 1997-2003

Kings of The Castle - Climbing - November 1997
Wills wrote this short piece in winter 1997 in Climbing's old section that they had highlighting home walls. Ahhhh, the good old days. You know, back when Climbing Magazine was actually worth reading (although on its last legs).

This one brings back fond memories, showing a little slice of life into what The Castle was at that time, which from the picture that they printed (unbelievably) was bordering on unbridled chaos. I recall that the editors wouldn't let Wills print any of the better pictures because no one was 'climbing' in them, so they printed the one that had Arvind the Maniac on the Stairmaster wall, while the Pukester attacked a burning couch (which ended up in the swimming pool) with a pair of garden shears.

Like I've said many times before, it all looks a bit nuts in hindsight, but at the time everything seemed perfectly normal...
Enlightenment Ridge Guide - Reese Martin - Spring 1998
In 1998, prolific Central Coast developer Reese Martin put out a guide to the Enlightenment Ridge Area of Pine Mountain. A little odd, certainly, to put out a guide for an area within an area, but it was where Reese was spending a lot of his time at the time, so that's what it is.

What it also is, is some of the worst mapping I've ever seen. While Steve Edwards' maps to the Brickyard and Lizard's Mouth were, ahem, not good, Reese went one better in confusion out here at Pine Mountain. No doubt Reese definitely had prodigious talents, but cartography was not even close to being one of them.

After Steve put out his Falcon guide in 2000, which had overlooked a lot of Reese's Pine Mountain information and re-named a number of problems, I went back and tried to set the record straight, which was a complete nightmare because of the atrocious maps. After many long hours of walking the area and trying to figure out what Reese had called what and what Steve had called what, I feel fairly confident that I got it [mostly] correct, but Kee-Rist it wasn't easy.

This guide was put out as an extra in the old SoCal mag "Mother Rock", which sort of carried on where Allez had left off and I believe remained in print from 1996 until 1999 or so??

On a side note: Reese Martin, a prolific first ascentionist and tireless worker for the Access Fund and climbing related issues, as well as a charming ladies man and all-around good guy, passed away in a paragliding accident in 2004. Reese, shown below on the far right in black, at The Players Ball 1997.

(from l-r: Steve "Emmanuel Overdrive" Edwards, unknown dame Edwards picked up at The Agave the night before - "We're having a party tomorrow, you should come.", Shandor "Condor" Madjar, The Bruce, a hidden Reed Bartlett (in (p)leather and (p)ink pants), and Reese Martin)

Pine Mountain Bouldering - Climbing - May 1998
One of the best magazine style mini-guides I've ever seen was this one for Pine Mountain that Wills Young put together when he was living in Ojai and doing very little except for scouting new problems and climbing his ass off.

This thing covered about 7 pages of the May issue encompassing a couple hundred boulder problems, most of the ones that people are still climbing on exclusively today (meaning the plums had been picked by a VERY motivated crew). It's true that there's a lot more bouldering out on Pine Mountain still, but it's also true that you could take this 13 year old mini-guide out there and come away 100% satisfied with what is truly one of my all-time favorite areas.

Another bit of trivia is the notation of Whiplash, which was likely at the time one of the top 5 hardest problems in California. Wills' original rating for the problem was V11, as it was logged in the Edwards guide to Santa Barbara Bouldering. Knowing that this mini-guide was going to see a MUCH larger audience, Wills chose to bump the grade of Whiplash down to V10 in a show of humility. Sadly, these days most climbers would bump their first ascent ratings "up" (probably "way up"), and never "down". After shutting down all takers, including myself for over 5 years, I put Whiplash back to it's original V11 rating when I put out Ocean's 11. And I might add that it has seen VERY few confirmed ascents in the last 13 years.


Rock Climbing Santa Barbara and Ventura
- Steve Edwards - October 2000
I've already expressed my distaste for these hideous Falcon guides. They remind me of some weirdo Communist book publisher where everything looks exactly the same and is homogenized down to the last dot. I hate the way they look on my bookshelf and I hate what climbers have allowed them to do to the climbing guidebook publishing game. A lot of the older climbing guides had a shitload of 'flair' for lack of a btter word. I miss that. I miss it a lot. And then there came these big publisher house sanitized guides with 300 pages of enormous areas of coverage that I can pretty much wipe my ass with. Pffft.

That said, Steve put out the best Falcon guide I've seen because he somehow managed to get them to allow a little of himself in it (read: a little, had he self-published it would've been WAAAY better).

The other funny thing about this book is that in the 13 years it's been out, I don't think I've ever used it. My copy still looks like the day I got it. By the time this book came out I had done the old Santa Barbara lines I was interested in and had switched to bouldering nearly full time and was already working on my own book.


Climber's Learn A Leg Up - Greg Crouch - SB News Press - Fall 1998?This was just a short newspaper article that I came across in some stuff that I had cut out and couldn't resist revisiting it. Written by Santa Barbara native cum bitchin' outdoor adventure author and badass Patagonia sufferer Greg Crouch, it's your standard puff piece to get the masses psyched on climbing. The genius of this piece is that when Greg went to Goleta Valley Athletic Club to visit their newly built climbing wall, the guy at the desk (who knew very little about climbing and didn't know Greg was friends with Steve) kept telling him that "Steve Edwards runs the climbing program here at GVAC and he is a world renowned climber". The brilliance of this didn't escape Greg, who mentioned it a couple of times in the article, including the photo caption at right. I think at the time, after we all got in some good-natured jabs at Steve "Mr. World Famous", Steve replied, "Well, I guess I know people from all over the world, right?"





Ocean's 11: Bouldering Around Santa Barbara
- Some Jackass Wrote It - April 2003
I'm not going to say much on this one, for obvious reasons. And I'm sure that every critical comment I've given on someone else's project could likely apply to O11.

There are things I'd do different on it now, but overall I am still pleased with how this book turned out and I remain quite proud of it. For me, it was mostly a little time-capsule detailing a pretty good few years of climbing history in Santa Barbara. Carrying on the SoCal tradition of "hot chick on not-so good route" on the cover, along with the gratuitous inclusion of the best dog that ever lived on the cover shot with her, and also more photos of a dog inside the book than of any of the humans, how could I go wrong?

The question now is, what's next, and who does it, and how?

I hate to think that physical guidebooks are a thing of the past, but that may be the case. Since I only sell about 5 copies a year, I have enough O11 in stock to last for a while and it's still relevant, but certainly not "up-to-date". Stacks of stuff has been done, new areas have been discovered. Hopefully someone will step up and document their own little time-capsule in some way, because I, for one, would like to read about it.

Santa Barbara Climbing History In Print: IV

Note: Recently I've spent some time compiling and scanning as much printed medium that I could find that covers climbing in the Santa Barbara area. Originally intended to be one post, I've broken it up into what will be several, with some [I think] cool stuff that appeared in books, magazines, and newspaper articles over the years.

Part IV: 1995- 1997

SoCal Bouldering Guide - 2nd Edition - 1995
1995 brought along a revised and much expanded SoCal Bouldering guide from Craig Fry, including topos and select problem listings for Lizard's Mouth, The Brickyard and Painted Cave. Also included was a short write-up with some excellent photos of the The Swimming Hole, which also garnered the coveted cover shot showing SoCal bouldering legend Jeff Johnson on Shock Wave (a photo erroneously identified in the credits as Paul Anderson, although everyone knows Paul never had that much hair). In a mighty coup, Jeff also nabbed the back cover shot of the guide as well, busting out Streetcar in J-Tree.

Another guide dear to my heart, before moving to Santa Barbara this was the book I had in hand when I went bouldering up at The Brickyard for the first time in 1996 (I'd been up to Painted Cave and Lizard's Mouth the year prior on another road trip). While a topo of The Yard was provided in the text, it was, shall we say, not so helpful. Luckily for me, I met two locals bouldering there (Steve Edwards and Chris Leube) which made things a bit easier to find.

One unfortunate part of the book is the photograph of "The Brickyard Technique", where the climber 'clips in' to avoid the consequences of frightening topouts. Particularly offensive to bouldering in general, in that the Brickyard chapter is followed by The Swimming Hole, where pretty much the best landing out there was higher and flatter than anything The Brickyard had to offer for spice. Luckily this "Brickyard Technique" never caught on.

Rock and Ice - Tar Creek Bouldering by Wills Young - January 1997
Next up, Wills put out this nice mini-guide to The Swimming Hole aka Tar Creek in the winter of '97. Due to some, shall we say, personality conflicts between Wills and another Swimming Hole developer Jeff Johnson, it's not the most complete guide that it could have been. Jeff was generally anti-publicity about The Swimming Hole (he truly didn't either anticipate or welcome the interest that Sherman's book provided to Tar Creek), and since Jeff was the longest running local of the area, he essentially refused to offer information about many things that had/had not been done. Because of that, some names are incorrect, and some problems that had names aren't named, but it's a nice little guide to get you there nonetheless, and Wills did his best to sway the masses with the tales of the epic hike, wild animals, horrific landings, etc.

Santa Barbara Bouldering - Steve Edwards - 1997
Finally, the first "real" bouldering guide to the area was Steve Edwards' excellent Santa Barbara Bouldering, which covered in detail for the first time, The Lizard's Mouth, Painted Cave, The Brickyard, Red Rock, Westmont College Boulder and Pine Mountain (access issues at the time prevented publication of The Swimming Hole). Most notable of the guide was the cover shot is of a guy who has only bouldered outdoors a handful of times, and I'm not talking about the legendary dog who's standing on the summit (a 2 year old Ratso). The boulderer in question is [a much younger than now] Phil Requist, who on the very few times I have gotten him out bouldering, have seen him dispatch with some damn hard things (I recall him flashing Grotesque Old Woman at The Brickyard). Pretty sure he fired Red Rock's awesome The Seven Year Plan very quickly that day of the photo.

The book itself is another of those kind that I love. Obviously put together on a shoestring budget but with a lot of care and stacks of work put into it. It was also put out at the time when I was so rabid about bouldering and living in Santa Barbara that I did almost nothing else but climb.

As much as I love it though, the maps to the more difficult areas of the Brickyard and The Lizard's Mouth completely blow. Steve is a man of many talents, topography was never one of them. I still have my original copy of this guide, where I was trying to do every single problem in it (came remarkably close), but there's a lot of notations of "Can't find it, doesn't make sense." Of course, then you get Steve out there with you one day and he shows you where stuff is and it makes perfect sense, but that's not really the point of a guidebook, to have the author standing there guiding you. Right?

Santa Barbara Climbing History In Print: III

Note: Recently I've spent some time compiling and scanning as much printed medium that I could find that covers climbing in the Santa Barbara area. Originally intended to be one post, I've broken it up into what will be several, with some [I think] cool stuff that appeared in books, magazines, and newspaper articles over the years.

Part III: 1990-1995

SoCal Bouldering - Craig Fry - First Edition 1990

1990 brought us what was to become the bible of Socal bouldering for many years, Craig Fry's original volume covering areas from Santa Barbara to the Mexican border. A true achievement in good information and number of areas covered, this is a really great book. Regarding Santa Barbara/Ventura in particular, we have the first printed mention of a newly discovered bouldering area called "The Brickyard" along with a note that "the Lizard's Mouth is not that great for bouldering", hmmmm, tell that to folks these days.

Mostly, the Santa Barbara/Ventura chapter is taken up with topos of Painted Cave and a nice photo of a very young and mustachioed Rob Raker busting out the Old Soft Hsu, padless of course, although sporting a thick 'stache like Rob's is a form of toproping and totally cheating. If Raker were to fein falling off of anything that day, his mustache would have prevented it, and at the very least, caught him. Also of note is the infamous notation on the old Jonny Woodward line left of Static Eliminator, "Flake Broke Doesn't Go". Static Eliminator itself is erroneously noted as Finger Cank (sic) 5.11+, while The Baby's Head is noted as "Static Eliminator 5.10+".

Pine Mountain, although mentioned in Tucker's 1981 guide, is completely overlooked, although I'm guessing that this has more to do with remoteness and a lack of any real information on it. Overall, a great guide.


Climbing! - Stephen Tucker/Kevin Steele - 1994

Thirteen years passed on after Tucker's first "real" Central Coast climbing guide before the next rendition of a comprehensive guidebook for the area appeared in late 1994. This time in the form of another excellent tome by Tucker, with Kevin Steele assisting.

Rock climbing had undoubtedly become much more popular in the time between the first guide in 1981 and this one, so the updated edition arrived with much anticipation and was quickly swept up. In fact, by the time I moved to Santa Barbara in late 1996, the Tucker/Steele book was sold out.

One of the things about this book that I've noticed (and liked) is thumbing through the index by looking at star ratings, which shows a dirth of stars practically anywhere, evidence that the authors actually had their heads on straight and weren't trying to lead people to some fucking pile of shit in the hills just by giving it a star. If a route in this guide has a star rating, it likely deserved to be done, the rest of the routes, well, it's Santa Barbara choss, if you dig that sort of thing then, maybe you'll dig the route.

While greatly expanding on the hundreds of new routes put up since the original guide, this one also happened to come out on the cusp of even more development, missing out on a lot of the new bouldering in the area, and roped routes at newly discovered chosspiles like Silly Rock up in north county and The Playground on West Camino Cielo. Overall, an excellent book filled with an excellent local history and a lot of information that is still completely relevant and useful today. On a sentimental note, when I moved to town, this was "the book", and I love it just for that.

Stone Crusade - John Sherman - 1994

When John Sherman did his grand bouldering tour of America in the early 90's for his upcoming book, Stone Crusade, he was unimpressed with the Santa Barbara areas that were seeing more development at the time (The Lizard's Mouth and The Brickyard in particular), however he was more than impressed with what he saw at The Swimming Hole outside of Fillmore in the Sespe wilderness.

Right up Sherman's alley, The Swimming Hole was a maze of a gargantuan boulders climbed by a select few guys with equally gargantuan gonads, and Sherman practically created the legend of The Swimming Hole in his excellent piece written for it, highlighting the two main activists of the area at the time, Jeff Johnson and Paul Anderson. The write-up on The Swimming Hole was my favorite part of the book before I even decided to move to the area and remains one of my favorite climbing write-ups ever. While it created a sort of legendary status to the two climbers featured (Jeff and Paul), and having gotten to climb and know both of them quite well over the past decade, their legendary status in the history of American bouldering is more than deserving. The outstanding photo of Johnson on the epic crux move of Tar Face says it all about our beloved Swimming Hole.

Rock and Ice - Guide to Santa Barbara by Steve Edwards - 1994

Perhaps thinking that the long promised 'new' Tucker guide to Santa Barbara would never come, Steve Edwards, owner of "Just Another @#$%$ Video Shop/Climbing Boutique", jumped into the fray with this nice article in Rock and Ice. It briefly covered several areas with hand drawn topos and selected routes (basically the good ones, or at least ones that he put up).

The best part about the piece isn't the information though. It is the excellent, funny intro that Steve wrote, which, especially looking back, brings back fond memories. I mean, the guy references Carl Jung in a fricking climbing magazine...EPIC. And he also says that if you come there you "can stay at my place". He wasn't joking (I did), and up to this very day he pretty much has the same open invitation.

Another great tidbit in the article is the often forgotten fact that local mutant Phil Requist once climbed at a place that wasn't The Owl Tor. And he climbed at that place, Cold Springs Dome, with the same habitual schedule that he now climbs at the Tor. Steve brings up Bambino's $100 Challenge to follow him for a day at the steep Cold Springs wall, which no one ever collected on, 30 laps being his record (at the time). On another note, the Silly Rock area was discovered and bolted later on in 1994/1995 and I'd be willing to bet that Phil has never been back to Cold Springs since. Click on the photo for the article.

The Swimming Hole - 1994
In the Swimming Hole section of Stone Crusade, Sherman hinted that 'an underground guide is in the works'. Well, that guide actually did happen, but precious few ever saw a copy of it, because it was kept very low profile. And, no, you weren't on the list.

Achieving something of a legendary status because of John Sherman's "Stone Crusade", the Swimming Hole was still largely under the radar, mainly because people were completely scared off by it, and rightly so. Lines at The Swimming Hole were big, hard, and bold and were put up in an era/area where toprope inspection and pad-stacking were decidedly not accepted.

The underground Swimming Hole guide to bouldering is the kind I absolutely love, pure local. Hand scribbled topos, a handful of action shots and short but entertaining route descriptions: The Handicapper B2- R/X "...more than scary", or on the notoriously scary and rarely repeated Paul Anderson testpiece A Touch Too Much, "Touchy."

Put together on a Xerox machine, folded up and handed out to a handful of friends. Just perfect.

Hot Flashes - In the Light of Day - Climbing Magazine, November 1994

Just a short one (albeit with a nice photograph) to note the first ascent of the best route in Santa Maria (still), Phil "Bambino" Requist's awesome Better Than Life at The Owl Tor. Has it really been almost 17 years? Jesus. The best part about this piece in the Hot Flashes section is that it is placed directly next to another short piece, one describing an attempted ascent of Yosemite's notorious Southern Belle, a route which could not possibly be more opposite. Drilled pockets on sport bolted steep choss on one side, while sparsely protected slab/near vertical with death fall potential occupies the other side of the page. Oddly enough, I think these two routes have seen very close to the same number of ascents over the last 17 years. Go figure.

Bambino

Santa Barbara Climbing History In Print: I & II

Note: Recently I've spent some time compiling and scanning as much printed medium that I could find that covers climbing in the Santa Barbara area. Originally intended to be one post, I've broken it up into what will be several, with some [I think] cool stuff that appeared in books, magazines, and newspaper articles over the years.

PART I: The 70's

It was a magazine article, not a guidebook, that showcased the first published information on Santa Barbara climbing [that I've come across]. Steve Tucker's introductory article, Climbing in the Santa Barbara Area in Summit Magazine (September 1975), gives us a taste of Santa Barbara-area climbing in the 1970's, which primarily was focused on the Gibraltar rock area and the Sespe Gorge. This is not so surprising, since they are two of the most obvious pieces of somewhat decent rock within 100 miles. But the article also touches on neat tidbits of history, such as the discovery of the steep north face of Cold Springs Dome (no completed routes are mentioned), and the recent "first ascent" of the Euell Gibbon route (The Nose) by the legendary vagabond badass from back east, Henry Barber.

The article is short and only has 3 photos, the best of which shows a climber on Any Minute Now at Gibraltar lead climbing with a backpack on as if he's doing some multi-pitch adventure in The Bugaboos, giving an unknowing reader the impression that you aren't 150 feet from a paved road. This brief expose is a terrific step back into a time when adventure climbing in Santa Barbara was much easier to come by than it is these days, when we have to wait for the hillsides to burn to the ground before exploring remote rock.

Since Summit Magazine is long defunct, I don't think I'll run into any copyright issues by posting the article in it's entirety, so here it is: Summit 1975

PART II: The 80's

For what is essentially a crap area for rock climbing (don't try arguing with me, it's true), Santa Barbara/Ventura for some unknown reason has been covered by a few much better than average guidebooks over the course of 30 years. Stellar climbing areas like Yosemite and Joshua Tree have been burdened in the past with guidebooks that have been downright boring, page after page of black and white maps, photos of cliffsides, and drab text (to be fair, I've heard that both of the new J-Tree books are a step up, but have not seen them yet). Sure they may get you to the right place and tell you how long the pitch is, but beyond that, YAWN. I've always loved perusing climbing guides that had a little bit more to say. Early favorites of mine were Alan Watts' Guide to Smith Rocks and what was the the best of the big ones, John Sherman's 1991 tome for Hueco Tanks, a guidebook that I bought and read cover to cover 5 years before I ever made it to Hueco.

Why was Sherman's book so good?

Mainly, because it made me laugh. From the prologue all the way through the route descriptions, Verm made an effort to lighten things up and keep you reading to see what he might say next. Genius. In comparison, the latest Hueco guide by Matt Wilder might look pretty, but it's nothing special to read. I spun through it in the mountain shop, but unfortunately didn't feel the need to invest.

In general, I tend toward liking the smaller books not handled by some big publishing house (read: Falcon Guides suck ass, and it is entirely possible that at some point in the future I will detail why this statement is fact). Case in point for the small guys, the outstanding original guide to Santa Barbara, Climbing in Santa Barbara and Ventura Counties self published in 1981 by Stephen Tucker. This is a true gem of a guidebook, one of the best of small local guides that I've ever come across. It's got legendary Yvon Chouinard on the cover, excellent hand drawn action images and topos, and lots of action shots of the pioneering local SB crew from the 1970s: Steve Tucker, Chuck and Steve Fitch, Kevin Brown, Doug Hsu, Rick Mosher, and Mike Forkash (first ascentionist of Makunaima and interestingly enough, one of the first climbers that I met after showing up in Santa Barbara). The book is pure joy.

Notable also is the first printed reference to "The Nose", previously referred to as the "Euell-Gibbon Route" at 5.10+ , and the first notation of Lizard's Mouth as laying claim to some of "the newer boulder problems in the area", and Pine Mountain as well, including a photo of local bouldering legend Doug Hsu bouldering in what looks to be The Happy Hunting Grounds area.

This spiral-bound guide is hard to find, in fact after a long time searching, I only finally picked one up 2 or 3 years ago. However, with the number of vintage book stores out there online, it's become a bit easier to seek out obscure titles like this one. Definitely worth the search if you're a climbing history/guidebook buff.

Santa Barbara Sandstone: Climbing Magazine - August 1987
Note: This one escaped my radar until Steve made note of it, hence the addendum.
Here's a short little expose by Frank Brodarick no doubt inspired by some of the recent goings-on in the area, notably Dave Griffith's ascent of Smooth Arete at the Gibraltar area. Not really a great read, it's more of a mini-guide, but it's got a couple nice photos, one of D-Griff on Makumania (sic - also mis-spelled in the text as Makunamia), and another of the always photogenic T-Crack.
Santa Barbara Sandstone




In 1988 came the first proper SoCal "compilation book" (that I have found), which has a brief few chapters on Painted Cave, Gibraltar Rock, San Ysidro, and The Sespe Gorge Wall. No great photos or or anything too interesting here, just basic information at a time when there was very little. Notable is the author's coverage of some obscure SoCal bouldering areas (not Santa Barbara in particular) that likely would be overlooked in a compilation guide put together today.

More notable though, is the author's choosing to use a cover photo of a crappy but photogenic climbing route with a hot chick on it, inspiring many more SoCal guidebooks of the future.



Where To Go When the Surf's Down - Climbing Magazine - July 1989
At the tail end of the decade Ventura activist Reese Martin posted up a short 1-page piece in Climbing magazine highlighting some of the recent development in Ventura and Ojai. Since the only featured photo is of the graffiti-ed artificial Ventura River Wall, I'm not so sure this one inspired many people to head to the coast to get their crank on. A short topo is provided for The Foot (can't say I've ever been there), and Thacher School bouldering, which is so small I went once about 14 years ago and haven't been back since.
Anyways, here's the article: Ventura-Ojai

Shoe Whore

I own 33 pair of shoes.


I am loathe to admit it, since I have been known to viciously berate my girlfriend about her grossly overstocked closet stacked high with [mostly unworn] pumps, flats, high heels, sandals and sneakers.

"They all have a purpose!", she tells me.

'Purpose' often means that there is exactly one outfit, combination, or unworn dress in the closet that the shoe perfectly matches with, and therefore each pair sits there awaiting the prime opportunity for elegant display to the general public.

I never really thought about my own shoe problem until I added yet another sporting activity to my lifestyle and recently bought cross-country ski boots. And I thought to myself, "Kee-rist, how many freaking pair of 'sports footwear' do I have now?" And I started to count them up, which together with far too many pair of 'non-sports' footwear added up to 33. Shocking, I know, particularly for someone who's been known to only wear flip-flops just about everywhere (I have 3 pair of those). Ski boots, snowboard boots, running shoes (3), approach shoes (2), climbing boots (10 - maybe more) , cycling shoes, surf booties, the list goes on.

Admittedly, part of the problem is that I effectively have two residences and I don't like toting all of my shit from one place to the next. So while I normally would only have one approach shoe, I in fact have two, one here in Santa Barbara and another at the cabin in the Sierra. Same with running shoes and flip flops. For a long time my climbing shoes outnumbered all of my other shoes put together because I pretty much wore flip flops or sneakers and the rest of the time I was rock climbing. But really, why do I need so many pairs of rock boots? Given the amount of time I spend climbing these days (much, much less than it used to be), I certainly don't. But I'm not gonna throw them away. I mean, those 1994 La Sportiva Kendos with a nearly fresh resole are just waiting for the right route. And I've gotta have the Five-Ten Ascents (a pair at each residence) for those endurance bouldering sessions and the Newton's for all that Tuolumne granite that I've been meaning to get back on the last few years...

I guess I see what Deb is saying, they all have a purpose and when you need them, they'll be there, ready and waiting.

Just had a thought.
Do snowshoes count? Ummm, 34.